Regret

I was talking to a friend today about it being Father's Day and what not. 

I asked him if he saw his dad today and he said no.

Of course my response is

'Why... it's Father's Day?'

He proceeded to give me about three excuses, none of which I bought because to me there's no excuse in not seeing your father when he is about an hour and half up the road.

So I said....

I lost my mom three years ago. 

Her and I were never really the best of friends.

Growing up we butt heads like there were no two people more polar opposite.

But she was still my mom. 

Then, as I got older our friendship grew. I started to appreciate the hard working woman I knew shealways was and I started to see things that a young, sheltered, kid wouldn't ever notice. 

We grew closer and I'm thankful for that because it wasn't long after my mom went on her new journey to Heaven.

So the one thing I don't have is regret. 

Yes, there are many times I think I should have done this or maybe that, but the lingering feeling of regret is not there. 

I know deep down in my heart I gained a beautiful relationship with my mom so that I wouldn't have to carry those feelings with me later on.

So, my whole drive home I thought about having regrets.

Wondering if I have any.

Wondering if I ever will.

Wondering what that's like.

Then I remembered conversation with one of my friends about a year and a half ago I asked him if he regretted all of the bad choices he's made in life.

He had made some wrong choices by choosing drugs, and a lifestyle that I have never known or seen but he had some great opportunities and passed them up because of his choice in drugs. Hehad to pay the price and overcome that and has grown so much since becoming a sober man.

But I remember that day so vividly, we were driving in his cousins car, they had just picked me up from dropping my jeep off at the dealership a week after purchasing it because the damn windshield wasn't sealed properly(that’s another story for another day)...and I remember talking to him about his drug of choice and where it led him in life and my exact words were "Do you have regrets doing that and having all of those opportunities taken away from you?"

And he told me....

"NO."

He said that all the choices he has made in life led him to where he is. He said they are not regrets, rather lessons learned. He said without those choices, it would not have shaped him into the man he is today.

And boy I am not going to lie, that hit deep.

And it was that day I saw a different side of him and I saw a different side of life.

He was always goofy and BSin' with me but I saw a different side...a more serious side I guess.

Anyway, it was during that time that I was going through my divorce and my husband and I were splitting up, work was stressful, I was finding out who real friends are, it just seemed like a mess.

People started asking me if I regretted getting married.

My answer then and my answer now.... absolutely not.

Every man that I ever dated was a learning experience. It showed me what I do and don't want out of a man. It showed me who I am as a person and the lengths I am willing to go and not to go. And every man I ever dated led me to my ex-husband. Whether it be friends I met along the way that introduced me to someone else... regardless…..EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. 

So now when I make choices I think to myself… Will I have regrets from this?

Will I make this choice and regret it?

Will I not make this choice and regret it?

Will this help me grow as a person?

Will this be a complete waste of time?

In everything I do now, I think about regret.

Because life is short and I don’t want to get to the end of my road and when it’s time for me to go on to my next journey, I don’t want to have any regrets.

And I don’t want to spend a life with people and if their time comes earlier than mine, I don’t want to have regrets. 

I want to have said I love you, to made sure they got home safe, to go out of my way to make them happy, or whatever it may be, I want to make sure my time with them is preciously spent so there are no regrets.

So my advice to you…

Do what scares you.

Date the girl.

Fall in love.

Get a job that makes you happy.

Travel alone.

Buy the puppy.

Skydive.

Buy a stranger food.

Spend too much time with your family.

Make new friends.

DO SOMETHING THAT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!!!

Because regret, is so not worth that awesome feeling you get when you do something you know you want to do.

Until next time….