Dating in 2019

Okay so it's no secret to say that dating in 2019 is a joke.

Sure there are more possible ways to date now than there were 10 years ago because of apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

But then again there are also easier ways to ghost someone, or just drop someone, or just get the one thing most guys are after and then move on.

Which, don't get me wrong, those apps are great and all. I have friends who have met their significant other on some of those apps, but I decided to delete my accounts and just go with the old fashioned way.

Here's a little back story on me:

After dating someone last summer, I took a break for two months then dated again. It went downhill faster than I could even imagine and once it did I thought to myself "WHAT AM I DOING?"

I saw the red flags. I chose to ignore them.

BUT WHY?

Because I didn't want to be alone?

Did I even really like him?

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

So I told myself, no more.

You're done dating.

So I quit.

I QUIT DATING.

I told myself than anytime a guy comes along and I get a red flag within the first few days or even first date or two I'm out.

Why waste time?

Why continue to hang out or put myself in a position where he can try to "hook up" when I've already gotten the red flags?

So I did.

For the last 8 months I have been on 3 dates.

1 in December.
1 in January.
1 last week.

And here's what I have to say about dating.....

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON???

Am I wrong for being a little old fashioned where I expect the guy to come to my house, pick me up for dinner(with or without flowers) and take me on a proper date?

The last time a guy came to my house(he actually drove from 3 hours away) and picked me up, made reservations and took me on a date was in August of 2017. He took me out for drinks and dancing afterwards and didn't try to have sex with me at the end of the night either.

Because he values me.

A man who doesn't try to hook up with a woman immediately respects her and values her.

Sure, times are different now, where we text, social media is a major factor, I'm such a go with the wind kind of girl that I just get up and go so often times i'll get asked on a fishing date or a come play softball with me date... but never fails.... I see the red flags all too soon and I'm out.

I was chatting with a girlfriend yesterday about dating and she said something that spoke volumes to me.

Her words "The way sex is normalized these days is just upsetting. People make it so casual and get mad if you don't do it immediately."

Ummmm, THANK YOU!

First off let's just start off by agreeing that sex is great. BUT IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE HAD WITH EVERYONE.

I take pride in myself in knowing I don't give it up easily. I take pride in myself knowing what I like and how I like it but knowing I can damn sure go without it too.

Show me some respect. 
Show me you value me.

There's a guy who I crushed on so hard for a while, who I had hung out with on multiple occasions and even ended up in his bed in my tee shirt and underwear not once but TWICE and he never tried a thing with me. NOT ONE THING. We got in bed, he put his arm around me, and we went to sleep.

AND WHY? Because he values me as a woman.

He knew I wouldn't be like the rest of them to just give it up. He also knew I wasn't the girl he wanted to use and toss to the side like yesterday's trash.

You see what I am getting at here?

MANY MEN WANT YOU BUT NOT MANY MEN VALUE YOU. 


STOP WITH THE BULL SHIT.

Stop trying to have sex with me.

Stop trying to have sex with the next girl.

And the girl after that.

Show some respect.

Show that you had a momma that raised you with morals.

And dammit, show a woman that you're not like the rest of them.

How To Love The Independent Woman

You ever lay your eyes on a gorgeous woman and think to yourself, I gotta know her? 

And then you speak to her and you’re even more intrigued. Like holy crap, this girls got it going on.  

Now, I know what you’re thinking, no one ever has it all figured out. 

But for a woman who is independent, and knows pretty much where she’s headed in life, she seems to have it all figured out. 

And while most people find that that’s something they want or are interested in, in reality, it is not that easy loving an independent woman. 

You see, she became independent for a reason. 

Maybe it was a bad heartbreak she suffered through. 

Maybe she lost everything she ever had. 

Regardless of what it was, something made her become independent. 

And that’s the thing about an independent woman, they’re so hard to love sometimes. 

But if you’re willing to take the time to get past those walls she’s built, I can promise you, it’ll so be worth it. 

You see, the independent woman doesn’t need you. 

Or so it’ll appear that way. 

She will want you. 

If she chose you, believe me, consider yourself special because she doesn’t just choose anyone. 

But she doesn’t need anyone. 

She knows what life is like all alone. 

Her walls are up. 

Her guard is even stronger. 

Her emotions are wild. 

But her love, it runs so deep. 

She’s seen pain like no one else has seen it. 

She’s felt lonelier than anyone ever has. 

But she did it because she knew, pain was something she didn’t want to feel forever. 

She knew moving on with life was where she belonged. 

She knew that at the right time, in the right place, someone special would come along. 

And by now you’re thinking, damn, this is a lot of work to put in. 

And that’s okay too. 

If you think that, then she’s not for you. 

But if you’re not thinking that... boy do you have a surprise in store for you. 

Take the time, break down her wall. 

Talk to her guard, soften it up. 

Because believe me, when she shows you she wants and needs you, the love you will receive will be unmatched to any you’ve ever seen. 

So by now you’re asking yourself, how do I love the independent woman....

You saddle the hell up. That’s what you do. 

You put your spurs on and hold on for the wild ride. 

Because it won’t be easy. 

She will question you. Remember she’s been hurt. 

She will try to walk away. Go after her. 

She will act like she’s not phased by you. She truly is. 

But then, she will talk to you about what hurt her. 

LISTEN! 

She might even cry. 

WIPE HER TEARS!

But then, when you least expect it, she will start to trust. 

She will be so soft. 

She will even be gentle. 

She will snuggle into your side and let out that big “I’m home” type of sigh. 

She will laugh with you. 

She will talk to you for hours. 

She will be so comfortable around you, it’ll feel like you’ve known her forever. 

And then, now and only here on out, she will include you in her future. 

All those plans she’s made, you’ve become apart of them. 

All those goals she’s written down, you’re in them. 

You are apart of her. 

Now listen when I say this last thing....

Don’t fuck it up. 

Until next time...