Strength and Hurricanes

Strength. 

It comes in different forms. 

Way of life, waves(literally from Hurricane Harvey),faith, and just plain mindset. 

If you keep your mindset where you want it to be, if you're not there, you'll get there. 

Only you have the power over that.  

Recently, I got so down on myself. 

It was the anniversary of my mom's death. I feel like from August 1st until the day she died (August 19th) there's a black cloud hanging over me.  

It's aweful. 

It's a constant reminder of what I lost. 

11 of the other months of the year I allow it to remind me of what I gained. 

Never in a million years would I see my mom's death in gaining something in return. 

But this one month I just let it sink in, throw myself a pitty party, and then I have to move on. 

You see, life can be a hurricane sometimes. 

I mean that literally because we are currently in the middle of one. 

Or mentally because sometimes things just start flying everywhere and you don't know how to cope.

Or sometimes unexpected life events happen that we have no control over but we just have to keep on pushing forward. 

With the losing of my mom I realized how strong of a person I really was. 

I started doing things I never did. 

I left my comfort zone. 

I made new friends. 

I dated the wrong guy. 

I cut friends out. 

I lost love. 

I found new love in myself. 

I took a different job. 

I moved to the city. 

I did things I never thought I would. 

Sometimes I think if my mom was still here I'd still be doing a lot of the same of what I did before. 

Still with the same man, same friends, same job. 

Same, same, same. 

But losing her made me realize so much. 

The main thing it did was make me realize how short life is and that it's meant to be LIVED. 

So I make it my life goal to do that. 

Live it how I want it to be lived. 

Take the trip. 

Date the guy. 

Make the new friend. 

Buy the expensive purse. 

Cut all your hair off. 

Take the job. 

All things I was sooooo scared to do before I lost my mom. 

And all things that made me realize how strong I truly am. 

Yes, I took some unexpected trips. Gosh, they had some amazing views. 

Yes I dated the guy. Probably not the right guy but it was right when it was right and I learned so much about myself during that. 

I made new friends. Who introduced me to their friends and so on and so on. Now I just have a bigger family. 

I bought myself something nice and expensive that I would've spent that money on before. Because I wanted it and dammit I deserved it. 

I cut my hair off. 13 inches to be exact. I just decided I wanted a change. A hair midlife crisis. I loved it. But long hair is just my thing. 

But the one thing I did that showed strength was taking the new job. 

Never in a million years did I see myself working in healthcare and with people who have Alzheimer's at that. 

I had never been affected by it so I didn't know what it was like. 

And boy did it change my heart. 

I fell in love with so many residents and their families. 

It's what I needed in my life. And in my heart. 

So tomorrow, I'll be starting my new position as a Patient Care Liaison for a Hospice Company, and I'm excited. 

Yes hospice is hard. 

Yes it's providing end of life care. 

But families need it. 

They need people like me who are there to help. 

Because I've been there on that other end, needing someone's help and guidance as my mom entered the last stages of her life. 

So it's my turn to be that person. 

The strong one. 

Because of the strength I've gained... from my mom. 

I'm exxited for this opportunity. 

It's what I feel I was made for.

This is my purpose. 

And that thing called life, it's so valuable...

And boy am I living it. 

Until next time.