When The Timing Is Right

Timing.

It can be so off sometimes.

Whether it be in a relationship, a job, making big life decisions.

Sometimes timing is just off.

But let's say you meet someone and you really hit it off.

You go on a few dates and have a great time but then things fizzle out.

Does that mean it just didn't work out?

Maybe you're not meant for each other?

Or maybe the timing just isn't right?

There are all these factors that could play in the situation.

So, if any of you read my blogs, you'll know that I went to Vegas recently.

And boy did I fall in love.

Not only did I fall in love with the city, but I fell in love with myself, amongst other things as well.

But what I did realize is that the timing was right.

I've always wanted to go to Vegas.

And I could have gone multiple times with different people but I never did.

Because the timing wasn't right.

I was meant to go when I did, with who I did, to experience Vegas the way I got to experience it.

I've been wanting to make a change in my life for quite sometime.

After going through the loss of my mother, not being able to have my dad around, a failed marriage, I've been waiting for the "right time" to make a change.

And what a more perfect time for that to happen.

Because 10 years ago, I would've never been able to make this change.

I needed to find myself.

And I have.

I know who I am, I know what I want in life, I know where I want to go and places I want to see.

So, if you're struggling with making a decision, or whether to jump into the relationship, or take the big new job, you'll know when the time is right.

"Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you had in mind." David G. Allen

But things have a way of always working itself out. 

And when it does...

And it's an awesome feeling.

That perfect timing. 

And As for me, now is the perfect time. 

NOW. IS. THE. TIME.

Until next time...

I Miss You

It's the eve of your birthday. 

You would've been 63 years old. 

I'm sitting here at what should be your headstone wishing you had an actual headstone. 

But it's so hard. 

Finding the perfect one for you. 

Because that's what you were. 

So you only deserve the best. 

I often look at them thinking I'm ready. 

But the anxiety kicks in. 

Am I making the right decision. 

Why aren't you here to guide me on this?

And then I start miss you all over again. 

Your voice. 

Your laugh. 

Your smile. 

Your curly hair. 

The comfort of your shoulder. 

Your wisdom. 

But most of all I just miss you. 

Three years and it still feels like yesterday. 

Sitting in the hospital. 

Hearing you tell us goodbye. 

Watching you dance as you told us you loved us. 

Listening to you tell us you were ready to go. 

That you wanted to see your mom and dad again.  

But most of all I just miss having my mom. 

I miss spending lazy days with you. 

I miss calling you and arguing with you that you were right. 

I miss when I couldn't sleep I could call you and you were always up playing candy crush. 

There's just so many things I miss. 

I hope to see you again one day momma. 

But for now, continue to be the best guardian angel. 

Until next time. 

Once A Woman Is Done, She's Done

Women. 

We can be so forgiving.

We give more than we receive.

We let our buttons get pushed and pushed.

But eventually enough is enough.

And once we are done, we are DONE.

Okay, so here's what's on my mind...

You ever fall so hard for someone even you're like "how TF did this happen?"

Now you're all like....

I miss YOU.

I miss the Good Morning texts.

I miss the times we laughed.

I miss the times we spent together.

Things happen, people change, yet here we are still holding on.

For what though....

As women we think, they'll change.

They'll come back around.

But we are only fooling ourselves.

GIRLFRIEND, he isn't going to change.

He isn't going to be the man you want him to be.

Stop waiting on his text.

Stop looking for that phone call.

Because if there's anything I know is that you can move on.

YOU CAN LET GO.

And when you do it'll be the best damn feeling you've ever felt.

There's someone out there better.

There's someone who will show you the attention you want and DESERVE.

There's someone out there who won't make you question their feelings for you.

So do it.

Everyone needs a little push and inspiration.

It isn't going to be easy.

It's going to be hard.

But one day you will look back and wonder why you ever worried about him in the first place.

You'll even try to remember the feelings you caught for him.

It was lust not love, honey.

You'll know true love.

And it's out there.

You DESERVE something better that's out there.

Until next time...

Ryder looks down at Leighton. She stands there trying to catch her breath. That's been an issue every time he's around. He grabs her chin. His hands are so rough. She remembers why she fell in love with him so long ago. His touch. The strength yet softness behind it. He tilts her head up to him. "Leighton, just give me a chance to love you and I swear on everything we will be the happiest we can be together. And true happiness. Not that bullshit you talked yourself into with him.There's so much I am going to show you that you won't be able to question my feelings towards you even if you wanted to."

She drops her head into his chest, tears rolling down her face. She knows this is going to be a hard decision. But her heart loves him. Her body longs to feel more of his touch. She wipes her tears and steps back. She looks away knowing if she looks into those deep blue eyes she'll get lost. Just like she does every other time. "Why now? Why should I trust you 10 years later? After you just up and walked out of my life I had to put myself together. It wasn't easy. I compared every man to you. I couldn't love anyone else like you. So why now.?" He grabs her on the small of her back and pulls her toward him. His tone deeper than it's ever been. His eyes only watching her. "Baby, I wasn't a man then, but I'm one now and I want to show you everything I know. I want to show you the world. I want to do things to you that I can't even begin to tell you because I'd make them happen right here, right now." 

What Happens In Vegas

I just got back from Vegas on Saturday and I literally could pick up and go back right now. 

I wish I was still there. 

Still feels like a dream. 

So it was my first time, and let me tell you what... 

I FELL IN LOVE!

I fell in love with the lights, the energy, the noise, the people, and the scenery. 

It was more than I could've ever asked for. 

I was fortunate enough to go on this trip. 

And let me tell you, I was very spoiled while there. 

I got multiple limos, got taken to all the hotels, the light show at the Bellagio, Fremont Street, the pool at Mandalay Bay, Hakassan Night Club in MGM. I mean it was AMAZING!!!  

I am constantly talking right? 

I love it. 

But when I realllllly enjoy something, I get quiet.  I embrace it. I let it all sink in. 

In Vegas, I was quiet. 

It was a dream come true. 

I made friends with random strangers at the pool. 

I paid a little Mexican man with an accordian to play my favorite song in Spanish. 

It was surreal. 

My only regret was not going to cirque du soleil and to see my all time favorite band, The Chainsmokers. 

That's okay, there will be a next time. 

But while in Vegas I realized something, life is meant to be lived! 

Life is short. 

And you have to experience it. 

You have to embrace your life and live it. 

Make things happen. 

Take chances. 

Travel the world. 

Step out of your comfort zone. 

Life. Your. Life. Dammit. 

I'm 28 years old, I'm single, I have two dogs, a house and a good job. 

But what I don't have is anything holding me back from accomplishing my goals and dreams. 

And I don't have anything holding me back from getting up and going. 

New city, new lights, new feels...

I want it. 

I need it. 

I desire to explore the NEW. 

It's time to make a change. 

Because Vegas, I want more of you. 

I want you whenever I want to have you. 

But I want to travel.  

I need to see more. 

There's more to life than the old local honky tonk. 

There's more to life than sitting at home watching tv. 

There's a world out there and I'm going to find it. 

And maybe, just maybe, I'll get to experience this world with someone by my side. 

But for now, I'm going to live. 

And you should too. 

Until next time....

Never Give Up

I've been up since like 4:30 this morning and I seriously don't know why. 

So I waste time on social media and in the meantime I check my Timehop. 

Well, this pretty little gem showed up. 

My sweet and hard working momma graduated from college 9 years ago today. 

So, in honor of her I thought I'd share some of her story. 

My mom graduated from Prairie View A&M with a degree in Criminal Justice and Child Psychology. 

I swear I say it better than I do my own degree. 

That's because I've had plenty of practice bragging on her. 

My mom attended college for 15+ years, single mom of two kids(one being my wild ass) and working full time. 

Originally my mom was a hairdresser. 

When her and my dad were married she did hair at a local salon growing up. 

When they divorced she knew she had to make steadier money and of course have insurance for herself and what not. 

So my mom went to work as a CO(Correctional Officer) as we've heard that term so many times growing up.  

She was working in Huntsville and going to school at Sam Houston State as well. 

I remember her telling us she'd go to work, then sleep in her car until it was time to go to class. 

I was young and didn't quite understand it all but looking back now it's just one of then many reasons I respect the hell out of her.  

Anyway while she worked in Huntsville for a while she took classes maybe only 1 or 2 classes at a time. 

So you can imagine how long it was going take her at that rate. 

I remember at one point when she was at Blinn, she had a night class and one night she had a test and couldn't find anyone to watch me. 

So, I went with her. 

I remember being so annoyed I had to go take a college test(little did I know I would have that same feeling years later), LOL! 

When I walked in her professer gave her the test and my mom apologized for having to bring me. 

I remember the professor telling my mom it wasn't a problem at all and asked if I wanted to take the test too!

My eyes lit up! 

A real college test! (haha)

So I got a scantron and the professor showed me how to bubble my answers in. 

I'm pretty sure I made an A that day. 

And honestly I know my mom was happy something had my attention because let's be honest, if I got bored I would've started talking and we all know how that goes, no stopping me there! 😉

Anyway, my mom stayed at it. 

Whether she was working at a unit in Navasota or Huntsville, she was attending one of the local colleges. 

When she scored a really good job at Prairie View working in their Registrar's office, I remember her telling us she was going to go take classes there as well. 

Of course, mom being who she was, made friends everywhere. 

She came home one day telling me she met the softball coach and told him all about me and how she was going to get me on that team. 

Well, she did, and maybe I had a little hand in it myself,  but how cool, I'd be going to the same college my mom was too!

Well, my freshman year I would tell professors who my mom was because I knew they knew her and if she was one of their students then I knew they knew how good of a student she was and to cut me some slack. Haha. 

I mean, it was Freshman year, so you know how that goes! 

Anyway, my mom had finally completely enough hours to receive her degree. 

That year she graduated with her long awaited but very well deserved Bachelor's degree. 

I remember when she got her Associates at Blinn and how proud she was. 

My grandma was there and I was wearing this awkward dress with my ugly short haircut too, but that doesn't matter. 

Unfortunately when mom graduated with her Bachelors my grandma had just passed away a month prior. 

I know how much my mom wanted her mom to be there for that day but we all know she was there in spirit 

I was 19 the day my mom graduated from college.  

19!

It took my mom over 15 years to graduate. 

I think at some point it wasn't about "that badass job" she knew she would get once graduating. 

I think it was about her accomplishing a personal goal of hers, her wanting to make her daughters proud of her,(which we already were, how could we not have been), and her wanting to prove to those who didn't believe in her, wrong. 

My mom was a badass. 

And she never gave up. 

We struggled financially, she had health issues, heck she even had multiple knee replacements but still she NEVER GAVE UP!!!

I mean heck, the day she passed, she still didn't give up. 

Her body was just shutting down... but believe me when I say she did still didn't give up. (You know what I mean for those of you who were there.)

Whether you're dealing with school stuff, life problems, or just a bad day in general...don't give up. 

Jsut when you think you've had enough, or when you just don't think you can take anymore.... that's when something great happens!

The end is just that much sweeter when you get there. 

This one's for you momma!

Until next time. 

Be Single But Don't Let Single Lead You Into The Wrong Person's Arms

I used to have this guy that I would call late when I was bored, or maybe after a few drinks, or maybe when I was just lacking some attention.

Nonetheless, we had this back and forth thing where we both did that...

We all have or have had someone like that, right?

Maybe an ex or someone who was always just there for you but you never really pursued a relationship.

That's kind of how I was with this guy, we never dated but we had many drunken nights together, danced at the local bar everyone goes to, went to lunch together and hung out many of nights with our friends.

But we never had that title, you know, "boyfriend/girlfriend."

We would each go on to see other people and each time it ended there we were, calling and texting each other again.

So, for the longest time I couldn't figure out why we never really got "together."

Now that I've gotten a few years under my belt, I'm not as naive as I once was and I don't allow the bullshit that I used to, it kind of all makes sense.

He was too busy doing his "single" guy thing and hey, I can't blame him.
He wasn't ready to be exclusive, and that's okay, that just means we weren't meant to be.

But now, where I am at, I enjoy doing my own thing.

I'm single and enjoying every bit of it.

Very few people are single and happy.

We tend to get them confused with single and lonely.

Don't get me wrong.

I've been there.

But all single and lonely does is lead you in the arms of someone/somewhere you don't belong.

Sometimes I think a guy will see me as single and think, there's a good one to hook up with.

Nope.

Not happening.

Or what's even better when I was talking to a guy and things didn't work out with him and here comes his friend.

And let me tell you, I'm not lonely enough to sleep with you.

But no seriously I have a rule, I don't date or "hook up" with someones friends.

So if I already dated your friend, you're off limits to me.

I've never broken that rule and 28 years later, I am not about to start.

Because just like girls like to talk, guys do too and guess who doesn't want to be the center of the conversation... ME!

The thing is that things didn't work out with that person so stop going back.

You're not giving room for something great to come along.

You could have the perfect thing standing right in front of you but because you keep "going back" you're not letting what could be, be something great!

Some people are meant to come into your life but that doesn't mean they're meant to stay.

So here's the thing...

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!

And by knowing what you want, I mean you really gotta know.

I'm not talking about if your friends will approve, or what your parents will think.

I'm talking about waiting until that person comes along that gives you butterflies.

The one that calls you on your shit.

The one that laughs uncontrollably until all hours of the morning.

The one that loves you and your family.

Don't just settle for the one that is there, conveniently.... that's boring.

Wait until the one that scares you comes along.

All those feelings that you get when you're with them, when you see them, when you think about them, when their picture pops up on your timeline.... that's the one.

DON'T SETTLE.


So don't let being single lead you into the arms of the wrong one.

Be single.

Embrace that shit.

And everything will work itself out.






Until next time.

She Turned Her Can'ts Into Cans

Part of being a writer is stepping out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes it's being completely vulnerable.

Sometimes it's doing something you never thought you would do.

While all I can think about is my book and how getting it done in 2017 is (not my only) but my MAIN goal, I knew I needed to do something different.

Something still me, but different.

I always talk about moving to Austin one day.

Where I grew up and where I live today it's very conservative, while Austin is wayyyy more liberal

That's not what I see when I think about Austin.

I see a variety of places to eat.

Places to go have a drink and there's live music.

Here you have to pick certain nights and maybe you'll get lucky.

BUT, for some reason I can never make that move.

To be honest, right now in my life I have NOTHING and I mean NOTHING holding me back from getting up and moving to a totally different city.

I have a little family here and of course amazing friends but they'll support me in anything that I do.

For some reason, that easy access to a dirt road keeps me here.

While living in BCS can be "city" for most college kids who come here from out of town, this place was 'Country When Country Wasn't Cool.'

The first people I met from this town 17 years ago were from Kurten, TX and drove 90's Chevy half tons with mud grip tires on them.

Hell, some of the people I still hang out with have those same trucks.

So to me this place is far from city life.

There's plenty of back roads that'll bring you back to life after having one of those not so good very bad days.

Just turn on some old country song and I can guarantee you after some beers, and getting into your feelings... everything in life will make sense and you'll be back to normal.

ANYWAY, after getting off track like some writers tend to do(myself), I decided I needed to do something different.

I wanted to find a different image of myself.

Take the girl out of the country....

So I contacted (one) my sister's best friends who has also become one of my good friends as well and got these pictures done.

They're more than I could have imagined.

I feel like I could really see myself and my dreams standing next to these graffiti walls which carry other people's dreams as well.

My blogging has gotten a lot of people talking.

I speak my mind and write about it.

It's a damn good feeling when people tell me "keep doing what you're doing" and that they love my writing.

Some can be something that directly reflects me or some comes from people I know and change it into my own words.

With that being said..... as you all know I have been writing my book as well as working on my writing by blogging as well.

I've been offered to blog for some people which I have done in the past and gotten small rewards out of it but now I have been offered money for my blogs in which I am writing.

I am super excited to continue this journey I am on.

I need you guys for more ideas and topics.

I mean trust me, I have a lot to talk about, but I can listen to your ideas to. :)

Thanks for all the support from my readers and followers....

Until next time....

(P.S.).... I may or may not be dropping a sneak peak from the book. Unedited and raw but still sooo worth it. 

Are You That Girl??

Have you ever looked at a girls picture on Facebook and seen the amount of likes she has??

Do you ever notice when it's only guys who happen to like her stuff?

Soooo, fellas, what does it mean when you like every photo the girl puts up?

Is this the new way of hitting on the girl?

Or is this just a game?

"It's just like going to the bar, if you talk to 52 of them you're likely to get one of them but if you talk to one you ain't getting shit." (Credits go to secret source.)

"You don't go on tender and swipe once... you swipe multiple times so your numbers go up." (Credits go to secret source)

Do you have that one you're saying you're talking to but you have that one on social media you can't stop liking everything she posts??

Are you interested or is this the new way of hitting on her??

I can remember when I first liked a guy I just had my house phone, but now the game has changed.

So kind of confused here...what signal are you sending??

So you like me and you're just not telling me?

You men want to play more complicated games than "women" do?

And you say say we are the ones who play games.

When will enough be enough?

We aren't that girl.... let's just be honest together.

But if you're that girl we aren't mad you... just the guys showing attention to you.

You can't help it you're that girl.

Men will be men.

The game hasn't changed... social media has... so realize where your basis for self worth are coming from .. has to come from inside not a outside source.

Until next time.

L